I was interviewed by a psychiatrist when Reed was a junior in high school. He delved into our boy's history...from BIRTH! No one else had done so. And in that session, much was revealed (more on that later). But, at this point (in his high school years), we knew his academic struggles stemmed because his frontal lobe was not as developed as the Average Joe. That's the simple explanation. Who knew there was a disorder for THAT? Executive Function Disorder. We had been dealing with this diagnosis since his 5th grade year. Yes, we went to a neuropsychiatrist when Reed was 11 years old.
One is 11 when one is in 5th grade. That dern telephone rang (my stomach dropped when I checked caller ID). It was the school. We were told he hit his teacher (FELONY!) and would be arrested. I could not handle this one so sent My Guy who entered the school to find his baby on the floor, straddled by the assistant principal. He was handcuffed and taken to jail. In 5th grade.
HOG (Hand of God) Moment
Said principal who had to straddle our boy was an amazing Christian man. When friends heard we had moved and Reed was going to "this" school for 5th grade; they raved about the assistant principal!!! And when that principal learned about Reed; he was quick to take him into his office and pray over him. I am sure he prayed for our son for many, many years. So, even while the police were taking our hand-cuffed son to their jail, that principal was praying for him.
After this episode he was sent to Alternative School for the first time. It's where the "bad kids" were sent and was a huge stigma. Oh, my word....I recall the morning I dropped him off. They wore white Tees, jeans and a belt. No baggie jeans either! He got out of my car, turned around and mouthed "I love you." It just about did me in.
Alternative School was for 5th through 12th graders. The kids there had behavior problems, were caught with drugs or weapons in school. My son was in the minority in age and race. The good news was that he had one-on-one ratio with his teachers. He did really well while there...and thrived. Oh, his teachers were terrific and had a heart for our boy. Ya know, there is nothing better than a teacher who loves his/her job! They are my heros! That was stint #1 at Tomball's Alternative School.
And because of his continuing anger and impulsivity; we went to the neuropsych. That's when we learned about Executive Function disorder. Yes, not only was he Bipolar with learning disabilities but now it was prophesied he'd forever be unorganized and impulsive. If only I knew then what I know now...
Yet I have learned so much over the years. And really & truly believe there was a reason for it all. AND, yes, that it's now being used for good. Romans 8:28 was a lifeline for me:
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good
of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
I learned about the brain, behavior, drugs, shrinks, rehabs, genetics, hospitals and about myself: that I could not handle conflict well. I reacted with bitter anger. I was a mess and had an 11 year old and an 18 year old. The Big War began in 2001. Thank goodness for girlfriends who loved me unconditionally and prayed fervently.